


too late to try

by SecretBane



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, F/M, FrostIron - Freeform, I read the Nikita Gill poem Almost Lovers and it all went from there, M/M, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 05:56:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18309557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretBane/pseuds/SecretBane
Summary: Love is hard and if you let it pass you by it won't come back.





	too late to try

The wedding was starting to wind down, the guest were slowly making their exit, Pepper had her head on Anthony’s shoulder while he whispered something in her ear. They looked happy. Loki took his eyes away from the scene, he could feel the weight on his chest getting heavier, he was starting to wonder if it would ever disappear. 

He took his shot and emptied it in one smooth motion, the burning sensation of it moving down his throat providing a momentary distraction, but he knew it wouldn’t change anything, the pain would come back, it always did.

A heavy hand landed on his shoulder, Loki closed his eyes, there was only one person who could be, and he didn’t know if he was able to handle the pity right now. 

“It’s time to leave brother.” Thor had the same sad puppy eyes he had been giving Loki ever since he heard of the wedding.

He wanted to scream at Thor to stop looking at him like that, that he was fine and had no use for his pity; but he was tired, and his pain was impossible to ignore, wanted or not he needed his brother, and he was thankful that Thor had been there for him throughout the night.

Loki turned to where he had last seen Anthony with Pepper, one last look, before he had to leave; at some point Pepper had left him to tell her farewells to her guest, leaving him by himself on the table. He looked as beautiful as he had the first day Loki met him, fitted suit, and carefully trimmed beard, dashing smile, gorgeous.

His heart raced at the sight of him like it always did, absently Loki wondered if it would ever stop doing it, part of him wished it wouldn’t. “Just give me a moment,” he said to Thor before leaving his chair and headed towards Anthony.

They hadn’t talk since the wedding started, neither of them had tried. Loki was secretly thankful for it, he didn’t think he would have been able to get through the day with Anthony by his side, too reminiscent of what they could have had.

“Hi,” Anthony said, once Loki sit by his side, on the chair Pepper had been, his voice sounded different from normal, smaller. “You’re leaving?”

“Yes, it’s time, it’s getting late.”

“It’s already late.”

Loki turned to him, silently transmitting his understanding of what neither of them were saying; it was late, to talk, to try, for what they could have had. He turned away from Anthony, needing to put some space between them, his eyes landing on Pepper whom was chattering with one of her family members, that weird uncle Anthony had always liked.

“You’re a lucky guy, she is a beautiful bride.”

“And a wonderful person,” Anthony replied. “I wonder what she sees on me.”

“A wonderful person as well,” Loki said, turning to look at him again. His eyes meeting Anthony’s. He could feel a knot forming in his throat, and his eyes itch, he willed himself not to cry, he refused to have his last moments with Anthony tainted with that.

“I’m gonna miss you,” And his voice was back to sounding so small, so vulnerable, Loki hated that he was in part responsible for it.

“You’ll be busy with your new wife,” he said, and tried to ignore the way his voice was trembling “You’ll barely notice I’m not there.”

“I’ll notice.”

Loki closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, trying to calm himself. It was not like they were not going to see each other again, they would, it was just their non-spoken agreement to do it less after today; non-spoken, as everything between them.

He turned to look at Anthony again and found him already looking his way, same sad eyes Thor had had; it seemed that it was the only way he could make people look at him now. He raised his hand, gently cupping Anthony’s cheek. Anthony closed his eyes, leaning into the touch, raising his hand to hold his in place.

The itchiness around his eyes started again and Loki had to gather all his strength not to break.

“You’re my dearest friend," he said "and I wish you all the happiness.” He had to stop there, sensing his voice was about to break, Anthony opened his eyes to look at him, and he could see he was not the only one desperately trying not to cry. “You deserve, the absolute best the world has to offer, I’m just happy I could have you in my life, even if it was just for a while.”

He closed his eyes, willing himself to calm down, he felt Anthony getting closer, gently stroking his neck and pulling him in making their foreheads touch, breathing each other in. The words they never said were hanging between them like a lot of times before this, but they weren’t going to be said now, it was too late.  
Giving a last squeeze to Loki's hand Anthony pulled away, Loki tried to ignore the pang of pain the action sent to his heart. Anthony was a married man now, he needed to remember that.

“I better go, Thor must be getting bored with waiting,” he said while standing up, trying to maintain a composure he didn’t feel.

“Yeah, alright, I guess I’ll see you around,” Anthony replied, but they both knew, it would take a while before they saw each other again, Loki needed time, and Anthony was not selfish enough to make him stay with him.

With a last smile Anthony’s way, he turned and headed towards Thor whom was waiting by the door. A treacherous tear falling down his face, that Thor gracefully pretended not to notice.

Every step added to the weight on his chest, and the tears were freely falling now, a sob trying to make his escape. Thor's hand was soothingly rubbing his back, offering comfort the only way he could, no words, no promise, just him, being there for his brother.

The thought was the final push he needed to let that sob out, and Thor hold him a little closer on their way to the car. He let him cry, it was too late to do anything to avoid it now.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is the first time I write and post something for this fandom, and I opened with angst, I hope you all enjoyed it in a heartbreaking way. 
> 
> Tell me what you thought of it! I have a lot of ideas of how they got to this point and what happens after it but I wanted to leave it open because well then you guys get to make it happy if you want lol. Tell me if you want to know though! I'm happy to share them.
> 
> Love you for reading this and give it a chance!


End file.
